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Take a laugh break....

wtf1978

Posted 2:06 am, 11/04/2014

LAME

benchwarmer99

Posted 10:24 pm, 11/03/2014

LOL I love the one about the bull.....

Trucker4Life

Posted 6:40 pm, 11/03/2014

"Cajuns"

Thibodeaux was driving his car past Beaudreaux's house and saw a sign that read: "Boat for Sale". Thibodeaux marches up to Beaudreaux's front porch and raps hard on the door and Beaudreaux opens it.
Thibodeaux say, "Beaudreaux! How long we ban frands?"
Beaudreaux say, "Well......All our lives, Thibodeaux".
Thibodeaux say, "Why don you tole me you gotta boat?"
Beaudreaux say, "I ain't gotta boat!"
Thibodeaux say, "Da' sign say; 'BOAT for SALE'.
Beaudreaux say, "OH - NO Thibodeaux!!....See dat old ' 72 Ford pickem'up truck over dare?"
Thibodeaux say, "Yas. I see dat old pickem'up truck."
Beaudreaux say, "See dat ' 76 Cheverloet Ce-dan?"
Thibodeaux say, "Yas, I see dat Ce-dan."
Beaudreaux say, "Well, dey boat for sale."

Trucker4Life

Posted 6:37 pm, 11/03/2014

"Comfortable"

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, �comfortable.'"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, �comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it very slow."

Trucker4Life

Posted 10:27 pm, 10/26/2014

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."

After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

Trucker4Life

Posted 9:52 pm, 10/26/2014

A gynecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.

The gynecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%. "How could that be?" he asked.

"Well," said the instructor, "I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe."

Trucker4Life

Posted 9:11 pm, 10/24/2014

What's The Difference Between A Peterbilt & A Porcupine?

On the porcupine the prick is on the outside....

Trucker4Life

Posted 8:03 pm, 10/20/2014

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."

The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer.

However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."

"I know", replied the priest. "Lucky I got him with the door!"

Trucker4Life

Posted 7:48 pm, 10/20/2014

LOL!!!

Backwater

Posted 7:14 pm, 10/20/2014

Trucker you have offended everyone that is 6'2". Lol

Trucker4Life

Posted 8:20 pm, 10/19/2014

A trucker is heading to his terminal, running a bit behind schedule when he passes a motorcycle officer sitting on a overpass..

Quickly the blue lights begin to flash, and the trucker pulls over.

The officer approaches his vehicle and ask "Where you off to in such a hurry"?

The trucker quickly responds "to work officer".

"That big of a hurry to get to work" the officer responds.

What type of work could be that important?

Trucker tells the officer he is a rectum stretcher!!

Just how do you go about stretching a rectum, the officer ask..

Well first you put your right hand in, then the left and begin to open the rectum more and more till it is about 6'2".

Lord have mercy, the officer replies!! What do you do with a 6'2" rectum?

Dress him in a uniform, mount him on a motorcycle and place him on a overpass the trucker says!!!!

Trucker4Life

Posted 8:11 pm, 10/19/2014

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab.
Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked, "Did I just see you swallow something?" "Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.

"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.

"Yep, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed!"

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