EDITION: Ashe County
36 °
Registered Users, Log In Here
Easter Trip!!


Posted 6:16 am, 11/24/2022


The 5 Toto's, Sexy Sadie, Hippie, Yahweh, Santa, China doll, DrFill, Frosty the Snowman,
Jack Frost, Old Man Winter and myself want to wish everyone



Posted 4:21 am, 11/21/2022


I received an email from the head of A.C.U.M.
The Association of Condom Using Men
She and I agreed if I am elected there will be no more 40 packs of condoms.
For safety purposes we will only allow 2 condoms per box!!
That way, what happened to poor Toto #3 will never happen again
Keeping condoms out of the hands of the evil doers is our goal!!
No more condoms of mass destruction!!

Hop On The Love Train Campaign!!🍄

Hope everyone has a great day!!


Posted 5:24 am, 11/20/2022


You will not believe what happened yesterday!!
I was getting my monthly shock therapy so I had to leave Sexy and the 5 Toto's at home
As they were all relaxing waiting for me to come home they heard a noise
in front of our cave.
Sadie told me they thought it was me coming home after shock therapy but it wasnt me.
Someone broke into our cave and started to scream, "where is MENTAL? You want love Ill give you
some lovin'"
Sexy and the Totos were taken back by the intruder. They were scared.
Sexy said the intruder kept screaming "where is Mental" then they saw the intruder had a weapon!
The intruder started to threaten Sexy and the Totos with a box of condoms!!
The intruder took a condom out and started to hit Toto # 3 in the face!
They all were terrified!! Poor little Toto # 3 was getting hit really hard with the condom!!
Fortunately they were lubricated so every time he was struck with the condom it
just slid off his face.
Toto # 1 jumped in. Every time the intruder went to hit # 3, Toto # 1 would get
the torch lighter and he would burn the condom!!
Thank goodness it was only a box of 40 condoms !!
Well to make a long story short, they caught the intruder
and Toto #3 was treated for latex burns but he will be ok!!

This incident will not deter me from running for office!!
I will not give in!!

Vote MENTAL and I will introduce a bill to stop all the condom violence.
I will speak to the condom union and I will make them stop putting
their terrible product on the market!!

Maybe if we think really hard we can stop the condom violence!!

hope everyone has a great day!!
Hop on the love train campaign!!


Posted 4:34 am, 11/20/2022


I never read it in a book
I never saw it on a show
But I heard it in the alley
On a weird radio
If you want a drink of water
You got to get it from a well
If you want to get to heaven
You got to vote for MENTALPAUSE
I never felt it in my feet
I never felt it in my soul
But I heard it the alley
Now it's in my rock and roll
If you want to know a secret
You got to promise not to tell
If you want to get to heaven
You got to vote for MENTALPAUSE
I never thought it'd be so easy
I never thought it'd be so fun
But I heard it in the alley
Now I got it on the run
If you want to see an angel
You got to find it where it fell
If you want to get to heaven
You got to vote for MENTALPAUSE

Hope everyone has a great day!!🍄

Hop on The Love Train Campaign!!



Posted 6:20 am, 11/19/2022


I listen for your footsteps coming up the drive
Listen for your footsteps, but they don't arrive
Waiting for your knock, dear, on my old front door
I don't hear it--does it mean you don't love me any more?

I hear the clock a'ticking on the mantel shelf
See the hands a'moving, but I'm by myself
I wonder where you are tonight, and why I'm by myself
I don't see you, does it mean you don't love me any more?

I'm sorry that I doubted you, I was so unfair
You were in a car crash, and you lost your hair
You said that you would be late, about an hour or two
I said that's alright, I'm waiting here, just waiting to hear from you

Don't pass me by, don't make me cry, don't make me blue
'Cause you know, darling, I love only you
You'll never know it hurt me so, I'll hate to see you go
Don't pass me by
Don't make me cry

Hope everyone has a great day!!



Posted 4:17 am, 11/14/2022


I am so glad Halibut Lhasa Apso and yourself are democrats!!
You dont have to go through all this embarrassment the republican christians are going through!!

"Donald Trump has proven himself to be dishonest, disloyal, incompetent, crude and a lot of other things that alienate so many independents and Republicans. Even a candidate who campaigns from his basement can beat him." Mo Brooks R ALA

Hope everyone has a great day
All aboard the Love Train Campaign!!


Posted 7:24 am, 11/13/2022

easy, me and Kamala the bathroom blender had a fine night in Fill's jail theme hotel after your democrat party I mean town hall meeting. While we was there, them deputy fellers gave a tour to the county younguns to show them what a fine and comfortable luxury establishment they created. That way when the younguns are homeless and need warm luxury accommodations with free scrumpdiddlyumptious meals they can just holler snot blender and a uber driver dressed as a deputy will show right up and chauffeur them to their warm luxury free accommodations. It ain't rocket science.


Posted 5:51 am, 11/13/2022


Let me tell you all about my Hop On The Love Train Campaign town hall meeting I had on Friday
The weather was perfect. Couldnt ask for a better day!! We had the fire cooking and several jars of Ashe County's finest shine being passed around.
Everyone was there. Yahweh, Santa and the Mrs and their posse, Old Man Winter, Jack Frost, China doll,
Dr. Fill, Frosty, Hoffa and Elvis.
I was so glad they all showed up.
You know who else showed up? That's right, The Halibut, Lucky and flat on its back. I could not believe they showed up. But because they showed up things got a little, well they got a little ugly.
Lucky was wearing a dog cone. Guess he just could not stop lapping his little dog hood not to be confused with his bog dog hood the Halibut. You could tell Lucky was feeling down with his cone. He just sat by the door and as people were coming to the party they started to throw money into his cone. Poor mutt.
Then the chaos really heated up.
Yahweh was making fish out of bread and the Halibut had his eye on a very good looking sea bass. Well, Lucky took notice and got angry. When the Halibut and the sea bass were getting "chummy" with each
other that is when Lucky lost it!!
He started to bark very aggressively and ran towards the Halibut and sea bass. The money from his cone started to go everywhere which started a stampede of republicans and democrats trying to get as much money as possible!! That is when everyone heard flat on his back yell "snot blender" which is what she always says. Like she has nothing new to say just "snot blender".
Then there were a bunch of christians holding Yahweh down and they were forcing him to turn water into wine!! He made about 5 boxes of wine for the christians.
Well after the sheriff and dog catcher showed up to take the Mental deniers away, things settled down and I thanked all for staying.
It was a great day!!
Thanks to all who hopped on The Love Train Campaign
I love all of you and together we can win this election!!



Posted 3:43 pm, 11/12/2022


I named it Barry because of Barry Manilow.
Still as slow and lonely as always right flat on back?

We cremated Barry but the strangest thing happened.
He disappeared? Barry had no ashes. Just a small hard ball of nothing.
Most likely comparable to your brain.
We had no ashes of Barry to spread around Ashe.
So we put what was left of him in our pipe and smoked him
with some killer blue berry bud
RIP Barry



Posted 10:48 am, 11/12/2022

easy button, how cute that you named your bong after Obammie. Your bathroom blender prolly has a good name that fits it good also. Let me guess, is his name Kamala the bathroom blender?


Posted 10:19 am, 11/12/2022


This post originally was going to be about my town hall meeting yesterday.
I am going to delay that post to bring you a special bulletin about what happened
to us this morning.
I had to go to Ingles this morning so I hooked the 5 Toto's to the rickshaw and Sexy and I got in.
Sexy was riding in front because she loves the way the wind blows her hair.
We were just about to go up the backside driveway to Ingles
Sexy and I were passing the bong and as I was about to take a toke
we heard what sounded like a fire cracker. The 5 Toto's stopped and looked over to their left.
Then we heard a bang again but this time a bullet went through the top of my bong, did a 180 degree turn, and hit Sexy Sadie in her doggy diaper. She is doing that heat thing.
Then instantly my bong just exploded!! The Toto's kept looking to their left and that is when we saw
someone go into that electrical building next to the driveway.
The Toto's turned around and we made it back home in record time.
Last I heard the building was surrounded!!
I am going to eat a baggy full of shrooms to calm down. We saved some of the left overs from Barry.
Oh, Barry was the name of my bong. We will spread Barry the Bongs ashes somewhere in Ashe.
RIP Barry



Posted 1:26 pm, 11/11/2022


What is the worthless fury thing at the end of a dog's peniscalled?

Hello Lucky, I want to buy some of those cherry pies from your company
for my town hall meeting this afternoon!!
How did you come up with the value of these pies?
What approach did you use?
Comparison, income or cost?
I just dont want to overpay for anything!!
See you at the party Lucky!



Posted 8:02 am, 11/11/2022

I see you are off your meds again. You are even too stupid and far out in left field for Krazy.


Posted 7:35 am, 11/11/2022

Hello MENTAL my child.

I remembered my password. Surprisingly!!
MENTAL you just be yourself. Do not accept any money from strangers.
Do not believe a thing anyone who claims to be a democrat or republican thinks.
They are bad people MENTAL because they use me
to try an convince you monkeys with thumbs if you are not a democrat or republican
Yahweh doesnt love you. That is not true and I wish they would stop.
We all know the two party system is evil and they will always be evil MENTAL
You know why MENTAL?
Because the lost their way MENTAL. They have been consumed with wanting to be on a winning team instead of being consumed with helping their fellow chimp with thumb.
They crave division and not togetherness
I know that is not the case with you MENTAL. You have a heart and will help everyone regardless
who and what they are.
I love you MENTAL and I know you will be a great office holder!!
Always smoke herb and hike with shrooms MENTAL!!
Smoke herb and hike with shrooms my child
I will see you at your town hall meeting today MENTAL!!
I am bringing fish and bread and water!!
I will always love you MENTAL!!
Hop on The Love Train Campaign!!
All Aboard!!


Posted 7:19 am, 11/11/2022

Hello Mental

You have my vote!!


PS You still owe me for some sessions. I am sort of short on cash and was hoping you can take some of your tax free campaign contributions and pay me MY MONEY!!



Posted 7:07 am, 11/11/2022


Yahweh and I were just picking some shrooms and she told me you are running for office!!
She said she would comment but she forgot her password.
Freaking hippie is always forgetting her password.
She also said for people to stop crucifying the messenger.
I am so excited for you MENTAL!!
You are going to make a great office person!!
Better then that democrat rat. I know I know everyone who voted for that orange democrat is a democrat
Once a democrat always a democrat. At least that is what that drunk mutt said.
I am looking forward to be governed by you MENTAL!!
Anything I can do just let me know!!



Posted 6:59 am, 11/11/2022


I am so glad you are running for office.
I was so sick of all those cold christians always saying
Yahweh can only love republicans. That is just so low
and a very evil way of separating us monkeys with thumbs
Yahweh loves EVERYONE as long as they vote for you MENTAL!!
See you at the town hall meeting MENTAL!!



Posted 6:53 am, 11/11/2022

Wow!! Is it true MENTAL?

Are you really running?
It's about time someone with some morals ran for office!!
You know you have my vote MENTAL.
You have my vote and all of my snowballs will vote for you also.
I want to live forever in the kingdom of MENTAL!!
We love you MENTAL!!


Posted 6:43 am, 11/11/2022


Congratulations on running for office.
I see my old friend fish and mutt are democrats
They are democrats MENTAL because they voted for that christian commander in chief
Once a democrat always a democrat MENTAL
Anyone who voted for that lying cheating democrat is a democrat!!
You win with my help MENTAL
I will help you win MENTAL!!



Posted 6:34 am, 11/11/2022


I heard Yahweh endorsed you!!
I am also endorsing you MENTAL!!
You are the only person I know that can get the peace
back into people's hearts.
All the reindeer and elves will vote for you also MENTAL!!
I also know Frosty, Jack Frost and Old Man Winter will be voting for you!!
You are loved by all MENTAL!!
Looking forward to seeing you at your town hall meeting today!!
Better bring sunscreen!!!!
The Mrs. and I love you MENTAL!!!!!🌲


Your Reply

Your Username:

Your Password:

Add Reply
Joines & James, Attorneys at Law
Need help with Disability? Joines & James, Attorneys at Law PLLC. 336 838-2701
Now Hiring Associates
Work as an Independent Vacation Specialist. Work full time or part time. Great travel discounts. No experience necessary. Commission based pay scale. Email for more info: msmithey@dreamvacations.com
Faster internet speed for rural customers
Tired of slow internet speeds? If you can get cell service at home, give us a try! Our $99/month plan with unlimited wireless data works best for most people in the county