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Easter Trip!!


Posted 10:38 am, 09/27/2021

Dear Diary,

I am so sorry!!
It has been a long time since we spoke and it is all my fault. I haven't been busy or anything like that.
It's just I did not care . That's all.

I'm back to caring now so lets get caught up shall we.

Did you hear 1000 AFGHAN HOUND dogs are loose in this state? I just found out this morning.
I want one diary so bad so I put some borani kadoo and chopan kabobs out to see if one will come.
The boys are very excited but not about the AFGHAN HOUND dogs but rather the intoxicating smell from the AFGHAN food!!
Diary I am not sure if we spoke about this but did you know a mushrooms life is all about what you don't see?
What you do see, you know the mushroom on the ground or in a tree, that mushrooms main purpose is to spread it's spores freely only to grow more mushrooms who's life is really what you will never see?
Make sense diary??
I know , me neither but maybe there is something there.
I picked some shrooms the other day and it is from a different location so I am not sure what to expect.
I will surely let you know when I find out.
I didnt call you Shirley diary I said surely diary. I haven't named you Shirley diary hence that is why I call you diary. No diary I will not call you Shirley Please stop so I can finish my writing to you.
Look you **$^* stop freaking messing with me. I will not call you Shirley
Think of another name!!
Jesus titmouse one more freaking word you freak and I AM DONE.....

I am glad Biden let out 1000 AFGHAN HOUND dogs and not 1001 or 999 or 635 you know all uneven numbers. Bad medicine uneven numbers bad medicine diary.
Ok Oh I almost forgot. My friends and I started a new chess match. I am surprised they took me up on the challenge seeing how I embarrass them all the time. Here diary I will imitate them

fish Im better than you Henry nananana
lucky Im better than you Henry nananana

They are so cute. I love them both. We all love them that is why I am going to make their heads spin to the point of vomiting on each other.
Share the love diary share the love!!
I will let you know about those new shrooms. Dont think I feel anything yet......

Hope everyone has a great day. Get out and enjoy the beautiful weather!!


Posted 11:14 am, 09/25/2021

Hey Mental! Charlie Daniels would love the lyric changes


Posted 10:34 am, 09/25/2021

Stay around mental your postings somehow seem to make more sense than the ramblings of Dung Beetle, Pinocchio and chen et al.


Posted 1:45 pm, 09/17/2021


Hello Henry. I love you!!! I got the cap off!! I am going to save some big time cash Henry.!!
Dont know why I couldnt figure that out

I smoke two joints in the morning, I smoke two joints at night
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints then I smoke two more

But Henry even I know you shouldn't smoke a joint while filling a gas can with gas.
Smoking a joint at a gas station is illegal in this state......

Thank you Henry
Hope everyone has a great day!!!


Posted 1:24 pm, 09/17/2021

Try unscrewing the ring that hods the nozzle to the neck of the can. Puleez do not be smoking a joint when you fill that can!!!


Posted 12:55 pm, 09/17/2021


Hello Henry. I am glad you recognize there is something sometimes behind what I write because I dont

I see the way you boys fight. Henry they love you. They enjoy talking with you and I am sure you feel the same way. You three enjoy each others company and that is sweet in my opinion.

I think you know me and the fish have a history together but that latex crap just went too far Henry.

And that 3 legged one eyed empty testicle sack called Lucky, well he is driving to "the pause"
{I did that because it always refers to itself as "the dog" bluh, bluh blahhhhh }
{ I dont know how to spell someone vomiting ..sorry}
It is hobbling so fast to me I am looking for my fly swatter for when it finds me!!
Just be nice Henry. I dont like politics because I dont like politics. I would rather have Mickey and the 6 Toto's claim me as their "property" by urinating all over me than talk politics.

But maybe you can help me with this one Henry. I went to fill up a gas can and the can has that long nozzle on it but the nozzle from the gas pump wont fit in the nozzle of the gas can. What am I doing wrong Henry? Is there a pump just for filling gas cans cause if there is I could not find it. Gas gets everywhere and it is like $40 to fill up my 5 gallon can. It only takes $20 to fill up my car!!
Be nice Henry and any suggestions with the gas thing please let me know.

Have a great day!!


Posted 10:28 am, 09/17/2021

Hi mental,welcome back hope it was a good trip this time. D'ye know I'm beggining to make more sense out of your ramblings than I do from the Trumpoids with the claims and excuses they make for their hero are you getting more coherent or are they just getting more incoherent?


Posted 10:11 am, 09/17/2021


There was a man named H. Dumpty. Mr. H. Dumpty fell one day and asked for help. Deep inside he knew no one was going to help him.
He decided to pick up all his broken pieces and head to the mountains. When he found a spot that felt good, he started to put himself back together again. He was determined to be better. He wanted all his pieces to be fitted perfectly leaving no space for error. He wanted to be a new Mr. H Dumpty.
One day in the fall after countless days of making sure all his pieces fit, he decided to once again enter a very mean world determined to be better.
As he was walking through the mountains he was noticing the splendor of the trees with all the fall colors. He also smelled how clean and fresh the air was. Never in his life has he been so awake. He was new and he knew it. He was happy and all those days of making sure his pieces fit definitely paid off.
He was so freaking happy he actually started to skip and sing. As he was descending the mountain all of a sudden he had a very bad feeling and BANG BANG BANG!!!
A hunter mistook Mr. H Dumpty for a deer. Mr H Dumpty was blown into thousands of pieces instantly. All the time he spent putting himself back together again went up in smoke in a second....

Pretty useless to ask me the moral of the story. I dont know what the hello without the o I am writing about. I couldn't sleep and was tripping by 7 this morning and I guess it is kicking in.
Surprised I can even type!!

Hope everyone has a good Thursday night!!


Posted 6:52 am, 08/23/2021


Dear Diary,
Wow what a weekend!! I heard a while back that if you wanted to get rid of some "excess weight" just wrap plastic wrap around the "weighted" area and kick back and watch the weight disappear.
I thought great because I have to keep the lights off and not look in a mirror and maybe a toke or eight to watch my "excess" weight disappear.
My 20 inch by 1000 yard roll of industrial plastic wrap arrived last Friday!! It was hard to wrap myself holding such a big roll of plastic wrap. I put a post in the ground and slid the roll of wrap on to it.
The boys were intrigued because I grabbed the wrap and started to turn in a circle. They thought game on. They jumped on me. Mickey knocked me down on the ground and I started to roll down the hill.
This industrial wrap wrapped me so tight as I rolled down the hill.
Now I know how far a thousand yards is from my house. I ended up underneath a brier thicket.
I had a thousand yards of plastic wrap wrapped around me like a straight jacket. Brought back memories. Couldn't use my arms. Couldn't use my legs.
I looked like a see through log.
I just laid on the ground and cried

My neighbor just found me an hour ago. I guess I was snoring pretty loud. She thought she heard a bear.
She asked why I was up so early and why was I dressed up as a see through log.
She said Halloween isnt for another month or two.
She cut me loose and let me tell you. It worked. I lost 15 pounds since Friday!!
Diary, like always it was great to hear from you. I will try to talk to you soon!!
Your friend

Hope everyone has a great Monday!!


Posted 2:31 pm, 08/09/2021


Hello you walking flea and tick hotel. How was your vacation with flipper? An island, well that sounds exciting. Just the two of you cowards on an island together.
Let me guess, flipper rubbed some Frontline flea and tick juice all over you and you rubbed olive oil and old bay all over flipper. Did the flipper flip so not to get fin burned?
Did you know goashe put up another reason for being banned from their site?
Its called "the little buddy and flipper reason". You both should be proud.
And little buddy a lot of people read my posts which are always drugged induced. You should try it sometime {the drugs because everyone knows you read every word I post}
because you are an extremely boring failed dog who has a flipper for a captain and couldnt excite anyone with your boring gut wrenching nauseous disgusting absurd posts. Whew!!

Do you want to start another game of chess Mr. Hemorrhoid??

Hope everyone has a great day!!!


Posted 2:16 pm, 08/09/2021


Dear Diary,
I know I am old diary but I never knew hemorrhoids can talk, type or post. Seems this hemorrhoid wants my attention so I will accommodate him when I am done talking to you.
Ok diary I am done talking to you.


Posted 7:28 pm, 08/04/2021

Does anyone read this drug induced hog wash?


Posted 10:01 am, 08/04/2021


Dear Diary,
Guess what? I found out where my two hemorrhoids went for that month. It seems they went on vacation to some deserted island that had no internet.
Wow my two hemorrhoids went to a deserted island that had no internet for vacation. Huh??
Well in honor to their deserted island vacation I wrote something for them.

It is from the Gilligan's Island theme song

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of two nit wits
That abused this local forum
With all their ignorant s***

The K-9 was a mighty failing dog
The flipper scared for sure
Posted s*** just to ruin your day
Just two worthless bores
Two worthless bores

Their posts started getting rough
Their tiny minds were tossed
They got kicked off of goashe
Cause everyone had enough
Just had enough

They ended up in a trailer for a month
The K-9
The flipper too
A blow up doll they shared as their wife
Posters of Tucker from Fox News
Never changing their Trump underwear
This is their pathetic lives

Hope everyone has a great day!!


Posted 9:27 am, 08/03/2021


I've been up for two days so bear with me.

Has anyone ever had a diary? I've never had a diary. I feel for one my daily life is not too hard to remember
Get up, eat, get stoned, hike, get lost hiking, find my way home, pick ticks off each other, eat get stoned go to bed.
Pretty normal life so secondly I feel my life does not need to be put down into words...until now.
My Dr. friend who works for the state said I should start a diary.
It may help with the stuff going on in my life....nothing.
So, today I will start my diary.

Dear Diary,
Today is my first writing of hopefully many.

Last year I had two hemorrhoids. They came about around this time last year. Darn things were so hard
to get rid of. No matter how well I treated them they still found a way to irritate my private.
I fed them well. I made them laugh. I propped up those two hemorrhoids as if they were my own only hoping they will just go away. I even tried to teach those two hemorrhoids how to play chess thinking maybe just maybe if I showed them how intelligent people behaved they may mimic me. Unfortunately to no prevail.
Well diary, one day those two hemorrhoids just disappeared. It felt soooo good not to have those two hemorrhoids.
I was able to sleep better and my moods were excellent. My eating habits got much better and no more projectile vomiting due to the two hemorrhoids so I started to gain a little weight. I actually smiled more which really freaked the Toto's and Mickey out. Just an overall good feeling when those hemorrhoids left.
But diary, this past Sunday the sabbath, no not Black Sabbath you silly diary THE sabbath on the sabbath these two hemorrhoids showed up. I started to scream in agony and the vomiting was uncontrollable!!
I yelled so loud hippie came running from his grave. He saw what pain I was in and he knew there was only
one thing or two that would make me feel this bad. TWO HEMORRHOIDS!!
Well hippie and the boys once again jumped into Bay Watch rescue mode. Hippie went into his room to grab what he thought was holy water. He came running out screaming "I have holy water, I have holy water" .
I took the holy water and proceeded to put some on the two hemorrhoids. Hippie felt I was not going fast enough so he took the bottle and just started throwing the holy water everywhere. It got on the Toto's. It got on Mickey and all over hippie. The holy water was gone.
After I dont know how long I noticed I no longer could feel the two hemorrhoids. Matter of fact I couldn't really feel anything and a rock kept winking it's eye at me saying "hey baby do you rock and roll"?
Hippie did not find holy water. Hippie found his stash that was created during Jerry Garcia's days with
The Dead. He emptied a century's worth of acid on all of us in a matter of seconds.
That is why we have been up for two days and most likely will be up for the next two weeks.
He said he was saving it for a very special occasion like when he was actually able decipher
WTF Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam is actually saying when he sings or when hippie's dad shows up or something special.
I guess starting a diary is a special event so the trip is not being wasted.
It was nice talking to you diary and I will let you know how those two hemorrhoids turn out

Your friend

Hope everyone has a great day!!


Posted 2:52 pm, 07/26/2021


WOW I had something happen to me this past week!! Me hippie and the boys were doing our first
night hike of the summer and we were really excited.
Before we started hippie wanted to toke on "something special". That always scares me when he say's "something special". After passing his endless bowl around we were on our way.
We hiked a while and came to a creek but we could hear the boy's barking ahead of us. I hurried over the rocks as hippie just walked on the water and as we came around the corner we saw this bright light.
Something was hovering about three feet off the ground in this clearing. We were scared. Then the door opened. Then this creature exposed himself. Then we all fainted.
And after calming us down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, this E.T. revealed to
us his singular purpose.
He said, "You mental are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!
And I didn't even graduate from high school.
Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the one.
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending.
To write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen!!
I forgot my pen!!

Hope everyone has a great Monday!!


Posted 6:28 am, 07/13/2021


Thank you Henry for the compliment. I did look up muse and it was also defined as a person or force who is the source for inspiration but I will settle for being one of the nine goddesses.
I will keep working at it Henry

I hope everyone has a great day!!


Posted 4:15 pm, 07/12/2021

The muses are nine goddesses that inspire the arts, you could have found it on google. Snow you know get working.


Posted 3:31 pm, 07/12/2021


Hello Henry. I think you know me well enough by now to know that I get confused pretty easy.

I thought you meant mute which I am sure the Toto's and Mickey would love to see me go mute because I sing a lot but the s and the t are not that close together on a key board so I canceled out the typing mistake.

I dated a mime for a while. Never said a word. Hippie even put a good dose of shrooms in this mime's ice cream one night. The mime just pretended to cry then pretended to laugh then cry then laugh without saying a word. The mime just kept miming which freaked me the Toto's and Mickey out cause hippie gave everyone the same dose. I started screaming "say something for hippies fathers sake please just say something" and the mime just kept miming.
Found out the mime married a speech therapist......

Henry what did you mean by I seem to have a good muse?
Like I said I looked it up but that made me even more confused
Thanks in advance


Posted 1:07 pm, 07/12/2021

That wasn't bad keep working at it you seemto have a good muse.


Posted 12:36 pm, 07/12/2021


Hello Henry. Unfortunately I did not write that It was a song the Outlaws sang. It is one of my favorites
Ive never done this before Henry but I am going to post something I did write
Here it goes

Losing soon

There's never a sunrise
I don't despise
When I wake in the morning alone
Should come as no surprise
The frustration deep inside
Starting another day on my own
A friend in need
Is not what I seek
But I can use just a little bit of love
Faces prove to be fables
Masked as Cain looking for Abel
That's when their pushes feel my shoves
Truths are just lies
That keep changing with the tides
With total disregard for the moon
I'll keep an even pace
Although there is no race
But I feel I will be losing soon

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