ashe

I thought that basket was for tips going to the donkey girl.

Well, it was a great weekend. I’m still recovering and haven’t even tried to figure out how to get the refrigerator down. The drunken preacher and the midget hit the road this afternoon. They loaded up the Cadillac and were on their way to Portland. They said something about legal marijuana and the midget has a job at Exxotica Expo next week. I think one of the triplets left with them. She seemed to have a bit of a crush on the Preacher’s daughter. But don’t worry, they all promised to be back in time for the July 4th party.

Also, I want to say thanks to everyone that contributed to the basket for the sheriff’s re-election campaign.

Does anyone know how the roof got on the refrigerator ?

Does anyone know how the refrigerator got on the roof?

WOW, what a night! You guys really know how to throw a party! I don’t think there is enough water in the well to satisfy my thirst. The donkey lady was amazing.

I just ate a whole bottle of alieve and washed them down with a quart of Gatorade, but I’m up and moving. The drunk preacher and the midget were in full force last night. I had no idea that the midget was bringing Maria and her performing donkey, Juan Holmes.

Anyway, don’t forget that tonight is the jello wrestling and annual pole dancing contest. Bo Peep and Uncle Jesse’s Lost Sheep will start back up whenever they come to. Last I saw Bo Peep last night, she was headed to the camper with Jack.

Tonight’s headliners are the Kingston Bog Jumpers. They are a Gaelic Funk band. Think if George Clinton had bagpipes. So come on out, you’ll enjoy them.

Now I have to go check the food. This year instead of a whole hog, we decided to do something a little different. A couple weeks ago I found a cow that got loose and we kept it in Jack’s garage. Last night about 3am I it went on the fire, Texas style, whole cow on a spit.

I have the senior cheerleaders lined up tomorrow evening. They will be so hot and eager to please.

I have found the sisters! They are on the road and should arrive later this evening. They tell me they all have matching tattoos that are still very fresh. More to follow as I know more.

Whoops.... I forgot about the site censorship so the fragile baby snow flakes wont cry.

We get close to the river and run the pipe over the bank. s down stream just think its cow squirt. It a tampon or two happen to go by they think its a couple teenagers banging.

Did you hook up the sewer or just let it run out on the ground

I sure hope blanch shows up this year. I greased the springs up on the camper just for her.

Sounds like a lot of fun

I’ve got good news and bad news folks. The bad news is I haven’t heard from the Secret Agent in a while. I figure he’s somewhere in the sandbox with some snake eaters searching for savages that are jealous of Big Macs. But the good news is, the drunken preacher and the midget are on there way for the summer kickoff. They were doing 6 months in the Norfolk for a bar fight. Seems the midget was under a table trying to help some sailor’s wife check an item off her bucket list when her husband showed up. When the sailor flipped the table and yanked the little fellow out from under his wife’s dress, and tossed him across the bar, the drunk preacher pulled a switchblade from his boot and stabbed the sailor’s hand to the bar. Anyway, it took some string pulling, but I got them released early, on the condition that the preacher’s daughter drives them down. The preacher’s daughter texted me that she’s got the Cadillac loaded and is ready to leave out tomorrow some time. She hopes they will make it to town by tomorrow night, if she can keep the preacher and the midget drunk and passed out the whole time. But, you know how they are, if they are awake, they’ll insist on hitting some roadhouses along the way. So it may be Saturday morning before they roll into town.

So on other notes, the RV is cleaned and pulled in, the liquor will be here tomorrow and this year I rented one of those refrigerated beer trailers that holds about 6 different kegs on tap. Don’t worry, we ordered more kegs than just 6. There will also be a live band this year. Bo Peep and Uncle Jesse’s Lost Sheep. They are a Bluegrass Metal band. They lead singer is a buxom lass that performs while wearing confederate flag tassels. I think everyone will really like them. They only accept moonshine as payment.

Gruff, make sure the triplets know we are using green jello this year in the jello wrestling pit so they can decide what color bikinis they are wearing.